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Emphasis Mine In Bible Verses
Forgiving others Is something that is not always easy to do simply because true forgiveness is a conscious choice to let go of anger, resentment, bitterness, and the desire for justice or revenge.
It is not unknown for believers to convince themselves that they have truly forgiven someone because they are know that they they are supposed to but, deep down, they haven't let go of the anger, the ill will and the resentment.
Anyone who is still harboring any of these negative emotions hasn't truly forgiven the person who hurt of offended them.
However, to be noted is that forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean forgetting what happened, trivializing sin by making excuses for the offender, or being reconciled to them - you don't even have to like them.
Time does not heal all wounds - those that still rankle do not go away but continue to fester like an open sore. As someone once said "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and then find out that the prisoner was you."
Undoubtedly it is much easier to forgive an offender who admits wrongdoing and asks for our forgiveness. Forgiving someone who may never have admitted guilt, doesn't seem to even feel at all guilty, and certainly doesn't ask to be forgiven is nigh on impossible.
And this is where we run into a rather large problem because both Jesus and Paul clearly specified that...
Your Father Will Not Forgive You If You Do Not Forgive Other People
Jesus said as much in the Sermon on the Mount
For if you forgive other people for their offenses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive other people, then your Father will not forgive your offenses. (Matthew 6:14-15 NASB)
Paul did as well
Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32 NASB)
So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so must you do also. (Colossians 3:12-13 NASB)
Many take this to mean that we have to forgive everyone who hurts, harms, or offends us in any way even those who don't admit wrongdoing and ask pardon?
Is this what the Savior meant?
Actually "No"
In the book of Luke our Lord added to what He said during the Sermon On The Mount
Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. "And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent'’ you shall forgive him.” (Luke 17:3-4 NASB)
Not sure it could get much clearer ie. we are expected to forgive others when and if they repent.
Scripture does command us to love everyone however, He never told us to forgive any of them.
Jesus said the second greatest commandment was to love our neighbor as ourselves.’ (Matthew 22:39)
And gave us a new commandment - that we love one another; just as he has loved us (John 13:34)
And told us to love our enemies, and do good to those who hate us, (Luke 6:27 NASB)
It is entirely possible to love someone and do good to them without forgiving them - that is if you understand what the Bible means by Agape
What is "Agape" and How Did It Work?
We tend to assume at once that "love" means what it does to us in modern times -- in this case, a mushy sentimentality that never says a harsh word and never steps on the toes of others. Not so
Note Paul's use of "just as" in this verse quoted earlier
Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32 NASB
How Do We Obtain God's forgiveness?
There is no forgiveness unless we repent and ask the Father to forgive us our sins. It is true that He is staying His wrath giving sinners time to repent but being forgiven is contingent upon repentance.
See Repentance - The Missing Message
Three Questions
We do not expect Him to forgive us unless we ask so why exactly do we imagine
He expects us to forgive those who don't ask?
Why God exactly would expect us to do something that He Himself will not do?
How in the world can God punish us for not forgiving someone whom He Himself will not forgive?
Jesus told a parable that perfectly illustrates what has been said so far.
For this reason the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his slaves. "And when he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. "But since he did not have the means to repay, his master commanded that he be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment be made. "So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, 'Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ "And the master of that slave felt compassion, and he released him and forgave him the debt.
"But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, 'Pay back what you owe!’ "So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, 'Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ "But he was unwilling, and went and threw him in prison until he would pay back what was owed. "So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their master all that had happened.
"Then summoning him, his master *said to him, 'You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 'Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ "And his master, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he would repay all that was owed him. "My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.” (Matthew 18:23-35 NASB)
Jesus' Prayer For Those Who Executed Him
When they came to the place called The Skull, they crucified Him there, along with the criminals, one on His right and the other on His left. Then Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up His garments by casting lots. (Luke 23:33-34 BSB)
His prayer was a fulfillment of the prophecy of Isaiah 53:12
Therefore I will allot Him a portion with the great, and He will divide the spoils with the strong, because He has poured out His life unto death, and He was numbered with the transgressors. Yet He bore the sin of many and made intercession for the transgressors. (Isaiah 53:12)
And fulfilled His own command to
"...love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, (Matthew 5:44 BSB)
I doubt that anyone could say with absolute certainty as to what exactly the results of Jesus' prayer was.
There are those who hold that Jesus' prayer indicates that God forgives people without them asking for it. However, as said by Steven Cole on Bible.org, "since God never forgives sin apart from the genuine repentance and faith of the sinner. Jesus' prayer that God would forgive was a prayer that His persecutors would repent and believe". [01]
Possibly!
Peter said something in Acts that lends credence to this view. When he told the Jews who had witnessed the healing of a lame man, he said
You rejected the Holy and Righteous One and asked that a murderer be released to you... And now, brothers, I know that you acted in ignorance, as did your leaders. (Acts 3:14, 17 BSB)
However, he then added
Repent, then, and turn back, so that your sins may be wiped away, (Acts 3:19 BSB)
In the Old Testament there were prescribed offerings to be made by the person or persons who sinned in ignorance. See Num. 15:22-31; Lev. 4:2; 5: 17-19; 22:14. These rules applied both to the children of Israel and to any stranger that lived in their midst.
You shall have one law for him who does anything unintentionally (Heb. shegâgâh), for him who is native among the sons of Israel and for the alien who sojourns among them. (Numbers 15:28-29 NASB).
Hebrews 9:7
But only the high priest entered the second room, and then only once a year, and never without blood, which he offered for himself and for the sins the people had committed in ignorance. (Hebrews 9:7 BSB)
However, the one thing we dare not forget is that deliberate acts of transgression were seen as "despising" the word of the Lord. When a serious intentional or presumptuous sin had been committed death not sacrifice was often the punishment.
'But the person who does anything defiantly (Heb. rûm), whether he is native or an alien, that one is blaspheming the Lord; and that person shall be cut off from among his people. 'Because he has despised the word of the Lord and has broken His commandment, that person shall be completely cut off; his guilt will be on him.'" (Numbers 15:30-31 NASB)
Arrogant flaunting of God's laws will not be tolerated. The person doing so is without recourse
If we deliberately go on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no further sacrifice for sins remains, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume all adversaries. (Hebrews 10:26-27 BSB)
See What Is Sin and Why It Is So Important To Understand How The Bible Defines Sin
(Defining the most commonly used Hebrew words for sin)
Anyone who does not view sin as God views it is making a gargantuan mistake. Most people consider themselves 'good people' by the generally accepted ideas as to what constitutes respectable behavior. However, although their lives and conduct may meet the world's approval, it may fall very short when it comes to the benchmark set by the Bible.
End Notes
[01] Steven J. Cole. Lesson 109: Our Great Need, God’s Greater Grace (Luke 23:34) Bible.org
https://bible.org/seriespage/lesson-109-our-great-need-god-s-greater-grace-luke-2334
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